How to Find the Right Therapist: What to Look For and Questions to Ask
Finding a therapist can feel surprisingly difficult. You might search for a counsellor, psychologist or psychotherapist, read a dozen profiles, and still have no idea who you are actually going to feel comfortable talking to.
And that matters.
The right therapist is not simply the person with the longest list of qualifications or the most polished website. Therapy is relational. You need someone whose approach makes sense to you, who you feel reasonably comfortable with, and who can work with what you are actually experiencing.
If you have tried therapy before and it did not help as much as you hoped, that does not necessarily mean therapy will not work for you. Sometimes the approach, timing or therapist simply was not the right fit.
How do you know if a therapist is right for you?
You do not necessarily need to feel instantly comfortable. Therapy can involve talking about things that are uncomfortable, unfamiliar or vulnerable.
But there should be a sense that you can be yourself.
You should feel that the therapist is genuinely interested in understanding you rather than trying to squeeze your experience into a particular diagnosis, theory or formula.
A good therapeutic relationship should allow room for questions, uncertainty, disagreement, humour and curiosity.
You should also be able to tell your therapist when something is not working.
In fact, how a therapist responds when you say, “That didn’t really help me” can tell you quite a lot.
Questions to ask a therapist before you start
There is nothing wrong with interviewing your therapist a little. You are deciding whether you want to share some very personal parts of your life with this person.
You might ask:
What kind of therapy do you use, and what does that actually look like in a session?
Have you worked with people experiencing something similar to me?
What happens if I don’t know what to talk about?
Do we only talk, or do you work in other ways as well?
What happens if therapy doesn’t seem to be helping?
Can I tell you if something you suggest doesn’t feel right for me?
How do you work with anxiety, trauma, burnout, grief or relationship difficulties?
Do you work with ADHD, autism or neurodivergent clients?
Are you LGBTIQA+ affirming?
How often would you normally recommend sessions?
How will we know whether therapy is helping?
What qualifications and professional registrations or memberships do you hold?
What are your fees, cancellation policy and confidentiality arrangements?
You do not need to ask every question. Often one short conversation will give you a surprisingly good sense of whether you want to continue.
Pay attention to how you feel with them
Your body can sometimes give you useful information before you have worked everything out intellectually.
After speaking with a potential therapist, notice what happens.
Do you feel listened to?
Do you feel rushed?
Do you feel judged?
Do you feel like you have to perform or say the “right” thing?
Or is there a little more space to breathe?
You do not have to leave your first session feeling completely transformed. But ideally there is some sense of “I think I could talk to this person.”
That can be enough to begin.
The therapist should be able to adapt to you
People are different, so therapy should not look identical for everyone.
Some people need to talk things through.
Others already understand why they feel the way they do but still notice the same anxiety, reactions, relationship patterns or physical responses happening again and again.
That is one reason I incorporate body based psychotherapy, Gestalt Psychotherapy and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy into my work.
We may pay attention not only to thoughts and emotions, but also to what happens in your body, your nervous system, your patterns of responding and what happens between you and other people.
Sometimes therapy involves talking.
Sometimes it involves noticing.
Sometimes we experiment with doing something differently.
And sometimes we laugh.
Therapy does not have to feel clinical or heavy every minute for meaningful work to happen.
What if you have tried therapy before and it did not work?
This is something I hear regularly.
People come to therapy saying things such as:
“I understand why I do it. I just can’t seem to change it.”
“I’ve talked about this so many times already.”
“I’ve had therapy before, but I still feel stuck.”
Understanding yourself can be incredibly valuable. But sometimes insight alone is not enough.
A different therapeutic approach may help you explore what happens underneath the words, including emotional responses, body sensations, automatic reactions and patterns that developed over time.
The question becomes less about “What is wrong with me?”
And more about:
“What happens in me, and what other possibilities do I have?”
You are allowed to choose
You are not committing to a therapist forever because you attended one appointment.
It is completely reasonable to meet someone and decide they are not the right fit.
A good therapist should understand that.
You can also ask questions, change direction, slow things down or talk openly about what is and is not useful.
Therapy works best when it is something you are doing with someone, rather than something being done to you.
Looking for a psychotherapist in Brisbane or online?
I am a psychotherapist, Registered Nurse and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy practitioner offering therapy in Albion, Brisbane, as well as online sessions across Australia.
I work with adults experiencing anxiety, depression, burnout, grief, trauma impacts, relationship difficulties, life changes, identity exploration and late diagnosed neurodivergence, including ADHD and autism.
My approach is grounded, body based, trauma informed, neuro affirming and LGBTIQA+ affirming.
If you have tried therapy before but still feel stuck, we may simply need to try something different.
Not sure if I am the right therapist for you?
I offer a complimentary, no obligation 20 minute discovery call.
It gives you the chance to ask questions, hear a little about how I work and get a sense of whether you think we might work well together.
There is no pressure to book afterwards.
Sometimes finding the right therapist starts with a simple conversation.
Terra Soul TherapiesPsychotherapy in Albion, Brisbane and online across Australiawww.terrasoultherapies.com.au
How to Find the Right Therapist: What to Look For and Questions to Ask
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