Understanding the Window of Tolerance: Why You Feel “Too Much” or “Not Enough”

Have you ever felt overwhelmed and unable to think clearly, or numb and disconnected from everything around you? These are signs you may be outside your Window of Tolerance—a term coined by Dr Dan Siegel to describe the optimal zone of nervous system functioning where we feel safe, present, and able to manage life’s challenges.

What is the Window of Tolerance?

The Window of Tolerance is your body’s natural range for processing stress. When you’re within this window, you can experience emotions, think clearly, and respond with flexibility. You feel grounded and connected. But when stress, trauma, sensory overload or anxiety build up, it’s easy to be pushed outside that window.

This may look like:

• Hyperarousal: feeling anxious, agitated, panicked, or reactive—your system is in “fight or flight”.
• Hypoarousal: feeling shut down, numb, flat, or spaced out—your system has gone into “freeze”.

Why It Matters

Each person has a unique window shaped by their history, environment, neurobiology and life experiences. For those who are neurodivergent or have experienced trauma, the window may be narrower, making it easier to become dysregulated—even in situations others might find manageable.

Stepping outside your window isn’t a personal failing. It’s your nervous system trying to keep you safe.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapeutic approaches like Gestalt therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care can help you notice when you’re drifting outside your window and gently support you in coming back in. This might involve grounding techniques, breath awareness, movement, or simply being met with presence and attunement.

Over time, therapy can help expand your window, allowing for more emotional range, deeper connection, and increased capacity to manage life’s ups and downs.

A Gentle Reminder

You are not broken if you feel overwhelmed, frozen, or disconnected. These are signs from a wise nervous system that has learned how to survive. The aim isn’t to “fix” you, but to meet you with understanding, and support you in creating more space for ease, connection, and choice.

You’re Welcome Here

If you’re curious about how therapy might support you in exploring your Window of Tolerance, I’d love to connect. At Terra Soul Therapies, I offer a warm, grounded space to explore your experience at your own pace. You’re welcome to book a session or get in touch through my contact form here.

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