BOOK REVIEW

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What You Must Think of Me: A Firsthand Account of One Teenager’s Experience with Social Anxiety Disorder

By Emily Ford, Michael Liebowitz and Linda Wasmer Andrews (2007)

Overview

This book shares the deeply personal story of Emily Ford, a teenager from rural New York, as she navigates life with severe social anxiety disorder. Through her honest and often raw reflections, Emily gives readers a glimpse into what it feels like to live with constant fear of judgment, overwhelming panic in social situations, and the pain of isolation. Her story also shows the gradual and hopeful process of healing through therapy and support.

What the book includes

• A relatable, first-person account of social anxiety from a young person’s perspective
• Psychological insights that explain the causes, symptoms and treatment of social anxiety, written in clear and accessible language
• Guidance on seeking help, what therapy can look like, and how to explain social anxiety to family and friends
• Practical tools for facing fears, developing self-awareness and building confidence in everyday situations

Why it matters

This book goes beyond a personal memoir. It brings together Emily’s lived experience with the clinical expertise of psychiatrist Dr Michael Liebowitz and health writer Linda Wasmer Andrews. The result is both a compassionate story and a useful resource for teens, parents and professionals. It helps reduce the stigma around mental health and offers a sense of hope to those who may be struggling in silence.

Key messages

• Social anxiety can be incredibly isolating, but help and recovery are possible
• Reading about someone else’s experience can ease shame and provide validation
• Therapy can be life-changing
• Open conversations and the right support can make a meaningful difference

Here is a list of Emily Ford’s fears as described in What You Must Think of Me: A Firsthand Account of One Teenager’s Experience with Social Anxiety Disorder. These fears reflect the daily reality of living with severe social anxiety and how it impacted her thoughts, behaviours, and relationships:

Emily’s Fears

• Fear of being judged
• She constantly worried about what others thought of her and believed they were criticising or laughing at her behind her back.
• Fear of speaking in public
• Classroom presentations, reading aloud, or even answering questions in front of others triggered panic and dread.
• Fear of being the centre of attention
• Even positive attention felt overwhelming. She feared standing out in any way, good or bad.
• Fear of making mistakes
• She was terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing and felt any small error would lead to embarrassment or humiliation.
• Fear of eating in front of others
• Emily avoided eating in public or around peers, worrying that others would watch and judge her.
• Fear of social interactions
• Everyday conversations, small talk, or meeting new people were exhausting and filled with anxiety.
• Fear of being seen as different or weird
• She tried to hide how she was feeling and acted in ways to avoid being noticed or labelled.
• Fear of asking for help
• Even when struggling, Emily was afraid to speak up because she feared being misunderstood or dismissed.
• Fear of being misunderstood
• She often felt trapped by the idea that others couldn’t possibly understand what she was going through.
• Fear of disappointing others
• Emily worried that she would let down her teachers, parents, or friends by not being “good enough” or “normal.”

Emily’s Strengths and Positive Qualities

• Deep empathy
• Emily cared deeply about others and was sensitive to how people felt. Her own experiences gave her a strong capacity to understand and support others who were struggling.
• Self-awareness
• Even as a teenager, she showed a high level of insight into her thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. This self-awareness was a key part of her healing process.
• Courage
• Facing social anxiety each day took enormous bravery. From attending school to seeking help, Emily showed quiet but powerful courage.
• Honesty
• She spoke openly and vulnerably about her experience with social anxiety, even when it felt uncomfortable or exposing. Her honesty helps others feel less alone.
• Perseverance
• Despite feeling overwhelmed, she kept showing up—in therapy, at school, and in her relationships. She didn’t give up on herself.
• Reflective thinking
• Emily was thoughtful and curious about why she felt the way she did. She engaged with therapy and was willing to explore her internal world.
• Creative expression
• Writing her story and putting her experience into words was a creative and healing act. It showed her ability to turn pain into purpose.
• Sensitivity
• While often difficult in social settings, Emily’s sensitivity also gave her a rich emotional life and an ability to pick up on subtle emotional cues.
• Willingness to grow
• She committed to change, even when it was hard. She took small steps forward and stayed open to learning.
• Desire to help others
• By sharing her story, Emily hoped others with social anxiety would feel seen and encouraged to seek support. Her compassion extended beyond herself.

Emily’s Steps Toward Healing

• Admitting something wasn’t right
• Emily began to realise that her constant fear and avoidance weren’t typical and were affecting her life. Naming the problem was the first brave step.
• Reaching out for help
• With support from her family, Emily started seeing a mental health professional. Asking for help felt scary, but it opened the door to change.
• Understanding her diagnosis
• Learning she had social anxiety disorder gave her clarity. It helped her realise she wasn’t broken—there was a reason for how she felt, and she wasn’t alone.
• Learning about anxiety
• Through therapy and reading, Emily gained knowledge about how anxiety works in the body and mind. Understanding it reduced some of its power.
• Engaging in therapy
• She began working with a therapist using evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Therapy gave her tools and support to face her fears gradually.
• Challenging unhelpful thoughts
• Emily learned to recognise the harsh, fearful thoughts that kept her stuck and slowly began to replace them with more realistic ones.
• Taking small, brave steps
• She practised facing situations that triggered anxiety, such as speaking in class or making eye contact. These exposures were challenging but empowering.
• Being kind to herself
• Healing included learning to treat herself with more compassion. She began letting go of perfectionism and giving herself permission to struggle.
• Building connection and trust
• As her confidence grew, she became more open in her relationships and began feeling less isolated.
• Sharing her story
• Writing the book and sharing her experience was a powerful part of Emily’s healing. It gave meaning to her pain and helped others feel seen.

Healing from social anxiety is rarely fast or linear. Emily’s story shows that even the smallest steps—asking for help, challenging a thought, showing up to a hard moment—can lead to real change. With the right support and patience, healing is not only possible, but deeply meaningful.

APA 7 Reference

Ford, E., Liebowitz, M. R., & Andrews, L. W. (2007). What you must think of me: A firsthand account of one teenager’s experience with social anxiety disorder. Oxford University Press.

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